Money “manifestation”: A 5 week diary
Some background before I start this post: I am a white-passing, cis-het woman, in a wealthy country. On the one hand, I am a single parent of two children, and get no financial support from my ex. On the other, I have parents who are financially comfortable and able to support me when I need it. They own a second home, which I rent from them at the rate my ex and I paid jointly for our mortgage. I also was a home owner and sold my house for a profit. That means this diary is written from a place of privilege that I acknowledge and am grateful for.
I actually don’t really believe in manifestation. I even wrote a blog post about it a few years ago. So, what am I doing here?
Because I’ve developed a girl crush on Leonie Dawson after taking her Marketing Without Social Media* course. I have done a full-on deep dive into her back catalogue of blog posts, and really enjoyed following her story.
When she offered a discount on her Money, Manifestation and Multiple Streams of Income* course, I decided on a whim to sign up. She also doesn’t believe in manifestation without actual work, so seemed to align with the way I feel.
I would really like to own my own home again at some point in life. I got a nice sum of money back from the sale of the old house. But even with a good deposit, and a comfortable salary, I still don’t earn enough to get much of a mortgage alone. My intention is to be in a place to buy somewhere – ideally in the same London neighbourhood I’m in now – in 5 years.
SO I thought I might as well do it. It will act as an incentive to deal with my money, which I’ve been ignoring. I also hope it will help me work on the ‘multiple streams of income’ side of things.
After the first week, I actually did quite a lot, so am going to document my progress each week. If you’re reading this ‘live’, you can check back at the end of each week for the update. I will also share links to the updated post in my newsletter when it goes out.
The video this week was about being a good custodian of money. I’ve always thought of myself as being reasonably good with money. However, I think that’s because I’ve always had a decent amount of it. Not so much that I have spare to think about how I ‘manage’ it, but enough to live on without going into debt.
Now that I actually have some money that needs managing, I’ve just been ignoring it (/spending it). This week I gave it my focus and attention and made a whole heap of changes.
- I did an expenses review, and cut a recurring cost that instantly made back the cost of the course. WIN.
- I calculated my Net Worth. This was higher than I’d expected BUT most of it is in my pension, and I still don’t have anywhere near enough to retire by 65.
- I found the login details for the old company pensions I have. This just makes me feel a bit more organised around them.
- I logged into my small stocks and shares ISA and started the process of moving the money into ethical funds.
- After the house sale, I finally created an ’emergency buffer’. This feels amazing, and I have now moved it into an ethical savings account.
- I spoke to a financial advisor about the money I have from my house sale, and will be investing it into ethical funds.
Ok not magic, but celebrating good money stuff that has happened each week.
- The kids and I went to a hotel for one night as a treat and got a free room upgrade! We had a stunning view of Tower Bridge and there were plush bath robes and slippers. It was wonderful.
Thoughts and feelings:
This week I’ve thought a lot more about where I put my money. Since it took place, the money from the house sale has been largely ignored. I feel so much better now for making decisions about it and actually doing something with it. I don’t have a lot of time or energy to manage investments myself right now, so I’m glad I’ve found ways of investing it ethically. So: Week one – good.
This week was more traditional ‘money mindset’ stuff. I have done this kind of work before, and find it really motivating in the short term. But then I find it quickly fades away.
For example, thinking of what negative associations I have with people who are really wealthy, I realise I still have loads. The recent news about Branson and Musk’s space exploration doesn’t help.
Rich people are selfish. Rich people are destroying the environment. The environment is being destroyed because of people seeking wealth at all costs. Etc.
I also struggle to envision myself as being rich. The hotel stay we had was brilliant, and I would love to replicate it before the end of summer holidays next year. But my first thought to that was ‘I probably won’t have enough cash to get us such a nice room. Being in a smaller room wouldn’t be as good’.
Why would I assume now, one year in advance, that I wouldn’t have enough to pay for it? I see myself as ‘getting by ok’ – NOT as someone rich. Even when I come into money, as I just have, with the house sale, that doesn’t change my perception of myself.
- I put the affirmation sheet from the course in a very visible place in my office
- I completed the ‘what kind of millionaire will I be?’ page.
- The Dyson that I discovered on the street last year is almost packed up. The universe did not gift me a new one, wtf? But when I searched for the vacuum I really want (a Shark, eff Dyson), there was a 50% sale! Hurrah. It’s terrifyingly powerful.
- I messed something up and have offered to cover the costs. So. Possibly negative money this week. Now waiting to hear if they’d like me to do it or not.
Thoughts and feelings:
I found it SO hard to fill in the ‘what kind of millionaire would I be?’ page in. I put it off for nearly the entire week. I feel like I would be pretty generous and good with my money. I already regularly give to charity and pay all of my taxes and bank ethically. But also: it felt like make believe. I don’t really believe that I will ever be a millionaire. It feels ludicrous to even write that down. I can’t see a way that I will ever earn a million pounds in my lifetime.
My potentially expensive mistake would have caused me a lot of anxiety in the past, but I feel okay about it. I can see how it happened, I’m happy to take responsibility for it, and I’m trusting future me to make the money back if I need to pay it.
This week was about setting your money goals. I decided to just set one, for the next two months. Leonie talks about the ‘magic of a piece of paper’ and this is something I really believe in. I wrote a whole blog post about journalling, and why I love it, and this kind of brainstorm is a great thing to put in a journal.
The other thing she talked about was different ways to track your income and expenses. I’m actually pretty good at that already, and the system I have (which is a combination of my banking app and an excel spreadsheet) works for me.
- I drew a money thermometer in my journal and coloured in the small amount of money I’ve received this week.
- When I did this, I wasn’t sure what the outcome of last week’s work error was going to be, so I there was a chance I would be some way away from my goal. Brainstorming the ways I could make that money back was fun. I think there are two things in there that might turn into real projects before the end of the year.
- My offer from last week was rejected! I’m glad I made it, because as a freelancer, there are times when I need to take more responsibility that someone in-house. But I’m also very glad it was rejected!
- I was approached by a former colleague about two potentially VERY exciting projects.
- I got a £105 Amazon voucher! So – I recently switched broadband providers, and this was the perk. If you’re in London, and want fibre and £100 in vouchers, this is who I switched to* (I will also get £100 in vouchers if you switch using that link). This clearly wasn’t any kind of magic, but it felt like it because the installation happened a month ago and I had completely forgotten about this deal. Hurrah, free money. I immediately spent it on a whole bunch of Christmas presents for my family.
Thoughts and feelings:
Making a visual money goal is great, I don’t know why I’ve never done that before. So far, I haven’t had a big chunk of money to colour in yet, but that should come next week. And the brainstorm was great, too. Part of the reason I did this course in the first place was to think more about my ‘multiple streams of income’.
At the minute, because I am doing a short-term contract, I am relying very heavily on that as my income stream. I’m looking forward to later on in the year, when I won’t have that to fall back on. It’s scary, because it means I have to find other ways of making that money. But exciting, for exactly the same reason.