I recently had an amazing day with a coach, spending an entire day diving into my business, talking about all the things I wanted to work on, some big plans I have but can’t seem to get moving on, and a few ideas that I could put into action straight away.
I’ve worked with a few different coaches and mentors now. When I first started out, I definitely made some mistakes and I know there are a lot of people out there that haven’t got what they were looking for.
But when it’s a good fit, working with the right coach or mentor can be hugely beneficial – for your mindset, for coming up with practical next steps, and generally helping you reach your goals sooner.
So, I thought I would share a few questions I asked myself NOW when I’m weighing up whether to work with them (individually, in a group, or via a course). I hope it might also be useful for anyone who’s considering hiring me as a mentor. Making sure we are a good fit works in my benefit as well as yours!
1. Do I actually need help with the thing this person helps with?
This might seem obvious, but it isn’t always. On social media, it can be easy to fall for someone’s personality, and their selling technique, without stopping to consider whether you actually need what they are selling.
Often, people who build huge followings online as coaches or mentors do so because they are great at translating people’s fears and worries and hopes and dreams into sales pages. Those pages can make you feel that without their help, you won’t succeed. But if you write down your own version of what you’ll get from the programme, does it still sound as appealing?
One of the first courses I bought when I was starting out was one on email marketing. I disregarded my own experience as not being valid (even though I’d been helping authors with their email lists, and banging the email marketing drum in house for years), because I didn’t have confidence in what I was doing yet.
It was not cheap, and it was a very good course. AND I didn’t need it. I could have written that course myself. In some ways, it was worth it, to give myself a bit of confidence in my own knowledge, but in other ways, I wish I’d just asked myself that first question – If I strip away the sales copy, do I actually need help with this thing?
Another related question is – does this person actually have experience in this thing? What does their experience look like, and is that experience the kind of thing that will help you?
2. What results am I expecting?
I sometimes get people approach me, whose expectations of what I can deliver for a few hundred pounds a month is WILDLY out of line with reality.
I can help you build your author platform. I can help you get super clear on who you are talking to, and how you are talking about your book. I can brainstorm things to talk about on social media, and where your audience are spending time. I can help with positioning, and offer feedback on cover copy, and help create a marketing timeline. Etc – there are a lot of things I can help with that will lead to an increase in book sales.
But I cannot say ‘work with me, and you will become a #1 bestseller’. That would be a lie, and that is an unrealistic expectation to put on to someone else. Check what your expectations are from this collaboration, and whether that is something the person can realistically help you acheive.
3. Do I like this person? (Or do I like this person too much?)
It’s not all about personality! There might be technical things that you need to learn, where someone’s personality is irrelevant.
Similar to the first question, you also need to question whether you are buying something from someone just because you like them. I’ve done that in the past, and it hasn’t been a bad investment in the sense that I’m investing in someone I like and believe in, but it also hasn’t necessarily been the been financial investment for me and my work.
But I do think that if you’re doing any kind of coaching or mentoring where you are going to be interacting a lot, either via email or via phone or video calls, you need to like the person you’re going to be working with. Or maybe ‘like’ is too strong a word. You need to feel comfortable with them.
You need to feel like you are able to able to ask questions (even ones you think are ‘dumb’). You need to feel supported. You need to feel confident that they are looking out for your best interests. You don’t need to be best friends with them, but having a good rapport is an important consideration.
4. Can I afford what they are offering?
Again, there are a couple of parts to this.
Do you have the money in your bank account right now to work with them – is one part. If you do, then hurrah, go for it.
If you don’t, is there something you can do in order to afford it that ISN’T taking out some kind of short-term loan or dipping into money that is there to support you paying your bills?
Are there payment plans available that would make it more affordable? Not everyone offers payment plans on their website, but many people are open to setting one up if you need it. If you think you could afford to spend £x each month, but you just don’t have that kind of money up front, ask if they would be able to set up a monthly payment plan for you. They might say no, and that will be able their policies, not you. It’s always worth asking.
If the person you want to work with is out of your price bracket, and the payment plan isn’t feasible, are there other, lower-cost ways of working with this person? Lots of people have free Facebook groups or do lower-cost workshops on specific topics, which could help.
If not, and you truly cannot afford to work with them, maybe this just isn’t your person. That’s okay. You can still find a way to succeed without that particular person’s help.
5. Do I have the time and energy to put the ideas into action?
This for me, is the biggest one.
Working with a coach or mentor is definitely most effective when you are actually able to implement your learnings as soon as possible. Calls with a mentor give you a certain amount of excitement and momentum. You will often get off the call feeling energised and ready for action. So, the longer you leave it between the call and the action, the more momentum you will lose.
Sure, some things take time to percolate, and not everything needs to be done immediately – a big part of what I do is help people come up with manageable timelines, so I know it doesn’t all need to be done now, now, now.
AND if you really don’t have any time to implement any of it straight away, it might be worth waiting until you have that time before you work with them.
Now, that all said, sometimes you book something in with the best of intentions, and life happens and you don’t have any of the time or energy you’d expected to have. In that case, be open with the mentor about it. Is there a scaled back plan you could work on together? Can you pause your calls or emails for a specific amount of time? If you are struggling, it’s always better to be open about it, even if you don’t go into specific reasons. It takes it off your plate, and will make them feel better too, to know that it’s not something they have said or done!
Want to have a chat about whether I would be a good mentor for you? Find out more about my packages here, or drop me an email to book in a free (zero pressure) call.
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