This weekend, two of the books I’ve been working on in May are going to be in the Sunday Times bestseller list – one at number nine and one at number one. So exciting! The lists circulate around every publishing house on Tuesday afternoons, and the anticipation is always pretty tense when you think one of your books might chart. Although I was hoping for a good result, this was way better than anticipated. It’s just the best feeling when a book you’ve been working on makes it in – it makes you feel like the hard work and effort you’ve put in to help promote it have really paid off. I couldn’t make the celebration drinks at work, so I had my own mini celebration at home. But it got me thinking again about something that has been on my mind for a while now. Is this it?
I’ve been doing my job for a pretty long time now. I started back in 2007 as an digital marketing exec, then got promoted to a manager, and am now a senior marketing manager. I started off in non-fiction, and now work in commercial fiction, which covers everything from romance to thrillers to fantasy.
I love my job. Like, really love it. The books I work on are mostly pretty great, and I love the company I work for. They’ve been especially amazing to me since I’ve been back from maternity leave – I work 3 days a week, leave the office at 5 every day, and I’ve never once been made to feel that I’m a ‘part-timer’, even though that is exactly what I am. I love my immediate team, both personally and professionally, and I enjoy working with the wider team as well. My boss is awesome. I also think I’m good at my job, which is a bonus.
So, you can probably see why I don’t really want much to change any time soon. I’m really happy with things as they are. But… there’s still something niggling in the back of my mind. I don’t want things to change right now, but equally, I need to start working out how they could change, hypothetically speaking. I’m already older than almost everyone in my team (including my boss). What happens in 5 years’ time when I turn 40? Where do I want to be by then? I’ve been watching the peers I started off with 9 years ago taking on their own teams and becoming directors. Do I want to do that? Now that I’m part time, and others in my team put a LOT more in than me, will there ever be a next promotion? Am I okay with not doing that? What’s the alternative? Is there one?
I know that I do want to move forward in my career, but I have literally zero idea about what I want to do next. I want to stay in publishing, but in what capacity? Should I just enjoy the fact that I love my job, ignore the little whispers suggesting that I should be doing more to move forward in my career and enjoy the work life balance I have right now? Is it okay to just stay in one place? Although at the minute I feel like I’m not very ambitious, a big part of that is having a very young child at home that is my absolute priority right now. But I still need goals to aim for. I need something to work toward. Where do I go from here? So many questions, and I don’t really even know where to start with it all.
And that’s not even getting in to the questions I have around this blog, and what I’m doing with it (er, not much right now!), or around my wishes to write more ‘professionally’. Do I actually want to do that? Am I good enough to do that? How do you even start? That’s a whole different blog post, one which I probably will keep pushing aside – I’ve got enough on my plate right now. Don’t I? Or is that just an excuse to not have to do anything about it?
Sheesh. Any thoughts? Answers on the back of an envelope, please. Seriously. If you have any bright ideas, send them my way…
Write a novel!
Psssht! No way – I enjoy reading them and working with them, but I am definitely not a writer! Tried NaNoWriMo twice and both efforts were atrocious!
I bet they aren’t! 🙂 Maybe you can write other things- recipe book?
I did have plans to write a recipe book – I even have the recipe plan and page layout written – but it all kind of fell by the wayside. I need more time in the day and way more sleep at night!
Oh Katie, I so know what you mean. Last year I was at max capacity, managing two very different teams, working all hours god sends but feeling like this is what I’d wanted – I’d always thought being a manager was a major career goal. Then came a brand reshuffle, the team went down to 2 and things calmed. Further changes then meant I was no longer a manager and I felt like a lost soul for quite a while – with that twinge of having failed. Now I kind of like the ‘quiet’; I’m busy at work, able to do my very best for my clients with no distraction, and it’s meant my work life balance is finally in a good place. I sometimes make steps to change jobs, push my career and get that promotion, but ultimately I think there’s a lot of pressure for us to keeping ‘pushing’ when actually staying put sometimes is the best thing for us. And not a failure! I have my creative/blog related goals and I’ve decided in recent months to stick with my job that keeps my income and routine, but push forward with my creative goals – starting with an Etsy shop. It’ll be a slowly slowly thing and I keep reminding myself that it’s for fun. If something comes of it, great. If not, that’s OK too. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, stay still for a while – there’s nothing wrong with that and how wonderful that you have a job you love and can get home in good time to the family you love. 🙂 Hope this is a little bit helpful! xx
It is, thank you Leanne! It’s hard to stay still, you know? But right now, it’s probably what I need to do, and to stop worrying about the future. ‘Be present’ is the thing mindfulness teaches, right? It’s so hard to do, though! Good luck with the Etsy shop x
Oh so hard to do! Especially when you add in imposter syndrome and the likes. But we all have to do what’s right for us. But yep, mindfulness all the way. 🙂